Another Suitcase in Another Hall

So, here I am. On the eve of the one-year mark of one of the most horrible times of my life... The day I had to get the law to intervene to protect me from my dad & my younger sister. The story is actually petty & stupid, which should illustrate just how unforgivably STUPID their behavior is, so I'll spare you the details. Anyway, my personal protection order expires May 11... And oh shits, that's today, now. I'm home alone & my address is available to people it probably shouldn't be available to. My dad I'm not too worried about since he's recovering from a very omplex foot surgery, but my sister runs with all kinds of shady sketchy people (great role models for my niece & nephew, right?). I don't think anythin will happen, but... Still scary.

Next month will be my official one-year TTC mark, even though we tried on & off for the year previous.

that first TTC month I wasn't surprised when I did not get a pregnant result... I was coming off the pill & was going through a time of extreeeeme stress... Of all the myths & wives tales, the stress thing is legit!

so now it's May 2011. I had such hope that I'd be
bringing a little nugget into the world in a few weeks from now.

this is Really. Freakin. Hard.

I sort of feel like the purpose is missing from my life & that's a sucky-ass feeling.

I thought I'd have a baby by now.

my friend TJ asked me last night if I was in the 2WW. I said "yeah I guess" cuz technically I am. Steve was home at a very opportune ewcm moment but I didn't waste $ on OPKs to confirm cuz I am waving the white flag. I'm surrendering. It's all I can do, now... I'm in insurance limbo, and I'm down on my 50/50 chances by half.

this is the time I'm supposed to be huge & uncomfortable & excited to squeeze a tiny human out of my lady-bits. I'm not.

the wait list for chinese adoption has extended to 8-10 YEARS. YEARS. So much for my precious asian baby.

I thought I'd be pregnant and I'm not.

A Day We Don't Do...

Here at The Infertility Closet, we don't do Mothers' Day.

I know some of you subscribers/readers are mothers, and I mean no offense, but a Mothers' Day post is not in the works here.

My husband is out of town, I woke up to a dog hairball, and my own family is so jacked up that the only moms-day communication I had with my mom was I sent her a text & she wrote back.

Yesterday I found out a friend from beauty school is pregnant again... After having a baby in November. It's a "surprise". Yeah. Kick me when I'm down.

so, Happy Sunday Like Any Other, everyone!!!

uughhh

I WANT TO MAKE A POSITIVE BLOG POST. I REALLY DO.

I want to tell you all those fun sunshiney things, like... That I finally got knocked up, won a home makeover giveaway by one of the most creative people I've seen in a while (or even cracked top 15), love my job, and don't ever miss my husband while he's driving truck. But then I'd be someone I hate- A LIAR.

so for now I will sit in my beige nightmare, dreaming of a plum & creme bedroom suite, a nursery or even spending tonight snuggled up with my love-bug instead of my elderly pets.


I don't like being negative bc I don't like bringing my readers down, but kids... When it sucks, it sucks *shrug*

just gonna have to pray my fortunes turn around soon.

in the meantime, here are photos from my life:

these will be huge until I get around to resizing. Sry.


Simon trying to decide if he wants to gnaw on part of my craft project:



Bear deciding thunderstorms means lap-time with Mommy, much to her surprise:



again. No apologies for the largeness of photos. I blog via phone & photobastardbucket uses flash to resize photos so I'm screwed till at least sometime tomorrow.


dog farted. Rude as hell, right in my bed too.

VOTING NOW OPEN

PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEASE go here and vote for me!!!

my entry is #68 "My Home: Slightly Used (by Jen)"

Thank you in advance. I REALLY want to win this... Or at least come darn close!!!

Tiny Giraffe Studio @ Etsy

Tiny Giraffe Studio, my art business I'm trying to get off the ground, is now on Etsy with a whopping 2 items lol.  I've been busy with other things!!!

the Tiny Giraffe Blog will still be hosted by me, but items are not available for purchase on the blog.  As I post art/crafts, I will note in the blog post if it is available in the TGS etsy shop :)

HERES THE LINK:
TINY GIRAFFE STUDIO @ ETSY!

Epic Makeover Giveaway from Vintage Revivals!

my TTC adventure is boring so I will talk about something else.

I submitted two rooms in my house to VINTAGE REVIVALS. I have a house seriously in need of some love, so I decided to enter... How people are too lazy to simply write a blog post is beyond me.







HERE is the link. Go here to vote for my totally pathetic living room and/or bedroom


Let me give you the backstory to our home-renovation situation:

In June 2009, my husband and I decided to make a purchase.  We had both screwed up in our youth, and nobody wanted to give us a loan for a mortgage.  We decided to check out a trailer park *collective gasp*!  I was a little less than enthused, being that the trailer parks where I grew up were not very impressive... nobody took care of themselves or their homes, like they had no pride at all.  We all know trailer parks get a bad rap, right?!  So anyway, he took me to LOGAN ESTATES to see what the homes were like there.  I was much surprised to find that it's more like a subdivision... all the homes were newer, no later than MAYBE mid-80's but there were only a couple that old.  Everything is nice and new looking, the properties were larger in size than I had seen... I was REALLY impressed.

And they were willing to finance people with credit issues!!!

After looking at some homes, and sitting down with the loan coordinator, we ended up seeing one that wasn't on the list, as it had recently been moved out of & had the carpet replaced (brand new carpet?! *eyebrows*).  We picked that one!

3 bedrooms, 2 full baths.  Master bath has a garden tub.  I was in love.  I said "This is my house", and it was a done deal.

Fast forward to now, April 2011.  We've started a redo of our kitchen, it's almost completely done, so I didn't choose to include it in the giveaway contest.  I spent most of the last year and a half in beauty school, having been laid off from work a while back, and my husband has this innate ability to get jobs that PROMISE a lot of work, but never seem to actually provide it.

MY HOUSE IS BEIGE.  I can't stand it.  I have been looking at the same junk for almost two years and we don't have a lot of extra cash to start renovations.  I have ideas for my living and bedroom areas, mostly just starting with a paint job!  I have big dreams of paint for these rooms, people, let me tell you!  We are now starting to save our pennies (the ones not dedicated to bills) to visit our RE and talk about the possibility of getting pregnant, since it is so obvious to me it will not happen on our own.  Mandi is a DIY miracle worker, but I doubt very much that she can get me pregnant, so I figured why not try to get her involved in our home-decor disaster.

We watch a lot of the DIY network and see all these cool tricks and tips, but it's just not in our life budget right now. *huge sigh*  Yes, this is basically a PITY ME post.  Pity me and vote for Mandi to come make my house into something utterly fantastic.  We've worked so hard just to stay on our feet and it would be such a BLESSING to us to have someone come in and help us out in our home.


I will leave the voting up to you, and in the meantime I will pray and pray for the Lord to send us in the direction He sees fit.

Thank you for your time and consideration!

Here are the pictures of our living room (nope. I sure didn't clean anything before snapping the pics with my phone):










And here are the pics I snapped of the bedroom (again, no cleaning or straightening up, haha... I'm a busy lady!)

Something to lighten the mood.

So I got some awesome news yesterday... My IFBFF TJ (Army Wife Post) is coming to visit in May. We are getting a hotel downtown GR & wander around getting into mild but undoubtedly funny trouble... I haven't seen that broad since I was in her wedding, I promise! I'm soooooo excited!!!