Sunday, August 28, 2011

A little update.

So after my birth control pack was done, I had a new and different kind of period from hell.  I thought I was going to DIE.  There were a couple days that it was so bad I didn't even move.  I wore pads because I was going through tampons too quickly, and pads were more cost effective.  It was insane.  I don't know if the sudden drop in hormones had anything to do with it, or the Evening Primrose Oil supplement but YEESH.  It wasn't super painful, but it was very uncomfortable overall.  I even had a couple instances where I bled through a little, and I haven't done that in YEARS.  It was crazy.  I felt better about it though because I felt like my body was really getting all the junk out and getting ready to do something amazing...

So I'm on day 29.  I never really go longer than day 25.  We haven't had sex, so I know I'm not pregnant.  Last time I was on BC, when I got off of it, I ovulated the day I was *supposed* to get my period, and ended up having a 44 day cycle!  I have a sneaking suspicion that will happen again...

However I have lost so much hope that I'm not even OPKing every day like I should be.  I don't temp, I don't root around in there for different sensations and secretions.  I've pretty much called a stalemate and am just living my life.  Furthermore, I may just be in the IF Closet forever.  People are starting to bring up kids again since we've been married for two years and I just say "Sometimes that's a little more difficult than you might think" and leave it at that.  It could mean any number of things.

Let them wonder.

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