Monday, April 4, 2011

AF= Aunt Flow AND April Fool's. Nice.

Hey look! AF came to me on AF Day! The irony is not lost on me.

I'm disappointed, angry & depressed. In lieu of a "real" update I will post this thingie I stole from someone else & filled out. I talk about being smart, which will sound pompous, but so be it. I'm tired of dumbing myself down for others.

I AM: Impatient.  Creative.  Messy.

I SAID: I didn't want to work at ______ and now I am.  I am a sellout & I am ashamed of myself.

I WANT: More than I should ask for, which is everything I'll never have.

I WISH: answers came in neat little packages and dreams were easily realized.

I HATE: clowns.  Storms.  Self-righteous people.  Adult bullies.

I MISS: my grandma. Oh God my heart aches for her.

I FEAR: judgement.  Pain.  Being alone.

I HEAR: thunder.  Fan.  Steve breathing.

I WONDER: if I'll ever do something that makes me truly happy.

I REGRET: not getting my teeth straightened.  Gaining a ton of weight.  Staying in Michigan.

I AM NOT: aloof.  Empty-headed.  Mean.

I DANCE: When I do the dishes.

I SING: as often as humanly possible.  It is my life's one true joy.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: selfless, but I try.

I MADE: a dozen terrible decisions.  Also, beautiful music.

I WRITE: crappy lyrics. Notes to myself (I'm very forgetful)

I CONFUSE: everyone, because I talk like an intelligent person & nobody gets my humor.  

I NEED: to be better.  Feel better, live better, DO BETTER.

I SHOULD: count my blessings.  Floss more often.  Learn to organize.

I START: lots of projects

I FINISH: very few projects

I BELIEVE: the world has more to offer me if I learned to step outside my comfort zone.

I KNOW: I will survive

I CAN: sing.  Sing your ass off.

I CANT: do anything right (so it seems)

I SEE: a fading vision of who I used to be.  A terrible reflection in the mirrors.

I BLOG: Personal struggles & sell my artwork ( &

I READ: Diana Gabaldon, Janet Evanovich & Wikipedia.

I AM AROUSED BY: Almost any portrayer of Superman.  Comics.

IT PISSES ME OFF: when people make fun of me for being smarter than them.  Why is it so bad to be smart instead of vapid & meat-headed???

I FIND: my keys in the door of my house *facepalm*

I LIKE: everything bad for me.

I LOVE: my cat.  Sometimes I think he's the only one that GETS me.


  1. You should never dumb yourself downs I think you are awesome, and funny! And a little negative right now but that is understandable! Hugs to you!

  2. Janessa, you are totally right. I am a little negative right now, and I don't like that about myself, but I had to get it out in writing because it was eating me alive inside & changing who I am.... And I dislike that more than tossing out a negative blog post.

    fear not, sweetie, i'll be right as rain before you know it!!!!!!